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Write A Picture
Sun Apr 15, 2007, 12:27 AM (This post was last modified: Sun Apr 15, 2007 01:07 AM by Canis Enigmas.)
Post: #1
Write A Picture
I'm sure many of you out there have imagined anthropormorphic characters and worlds. Some may have drawn it out, some would have written it out. What I challenge you all here is to give us a picture, a snippet, out of your worlds. Short stories in 100 - 150 words (Since most of us wouldn't have the time or the attention span to read more than that Tongue )

Quality of writing does not matter here. Neither is the story's starting, ending or completeness. What is important is the pictures that hints at the world within your mind. Please also mention if you're open for comments, harsh or kind.

I have been having this story in my head for years and this intro has probably been rewritten about 20 times over. I am open for any form of comments and criticisms.

Contrasts : Chapter 1 : Where The Two Lines Meet (Excerpt)

He stares blankly into the darkness.
I stare back.
He paces around.
I silently watch.
He takes contemplative sips from his glass.
My arms hold steady..
He seems anxious.
.. keeping him where the two lines meet.
Again, he looks at his watch.
Breaths shallow and slow.
He was waiting.
I was waiting.
He mutters something. The guards obey and walk out.
He's alone.
Good.
He sits down at his desk and picks up the phone.
Perfect.

My grip tightens. A deep breath of air. Brace it against my shoulder. My finger pulls swiftly.

The silence is disturbed. A whistle. A shatter. A clink of metal. His head jolts to its side. A spray of blood flecks the wall behind. His body goes limp. The phone handset falls from his lifeless hands.
My job is done.
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Sun Apr 15, 2007, 12:43 AM
Post: #2
RE: Write A Picture
Assuming you are using a gun/rifle: a gunshot would result in a spray not a splatter. Splatters result when the velocity of the object hitting the blood source is closer to that of a, say, baseball bat.

Heaven doesn't want me, and hell's afraid I'll take over.

The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.
- Achilles

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Sun Apr 15, 2007, 12:48 AM
Post: #3
RE: Write A Picture
Dang, you certainly have CSI skills there!
Should have known better after watching all those Dallas footage from JFK documentaries Tongue
Okay ... re-write!
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Tue Apr 17, 2007, 01:28 PM (This post was last modified: Tue Apr 17, 2007 01:31 PM by gingertom84.)
Post: #4
RE: Write A Picture
Old Ur, a planet wrapped in a city, is the capital of two galactic empires. The Empires of the White Bull and of the Sun. They are two emperors, sitting high in their flying fortresses in the pitch black of the heavens. They wrestle for millenia to sit on the white throne of Ur. No one relents. No one wins. The White Bull is unitary but is a race of mindless drones. The Golden Sun is high civilization but divided in petty feudal quarrels. Old Ur, all trade routes lead to her ports. To sit on the White Throne is to tax the trillions of Ur citizens who prospered from the routes. Old Ur, trophy, power and wealth, it is all of these. But most of all it is home to the Ur natives, the Raum, with their slender limbs and tails, pelts of velvet, pointed ears, slitted eyes, and shapely nuzzles and long hair.

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Tue Apr 24, 2007, 11:49 PM
Post: #5
RE: Write A Picture
[Laksın and Raskıp]

Quote:Six hundred sixty four, six hundred sixty five, six hundred ... ah here is my room. I inserted my key to the slot only to find that I can’t turn it out. It seems that my room mate already arrived before me. I knocked the door, just to be polite and an answer cuing me to come in.

I come in to a surprise. There, in front of me a man of ordinary height stood, he has spotty pelt, rounded ear adorned with quite a set of earrings, some complete with feather, on his neck were hang several necklaces.

A Langaarang! Of all people, a Langaarang is my room mate! Such is the joy of having the administration assign your room at random. This is going to be a long year on the academy.

He trying his best to smile only to fail into a grimace. Smiling just isn’t there in Langaarang culture. He proceeds to greet me. His voice is very guttural, audibly articulate but just sounds wrong.
"Na ... Namo." I replied.
"Rifemen, I take it you will be my room mate?" He asked.
"Yes, that is ... if I don't mistake my room." I really hope I was entering the wrong room, but the key matched.
"My name is Laksın, Laksınar of Äisuri and Saratı." I introduced myself. I may as well try to break the ice and get more familiar to him. after all I may well spend the next year with this guy.
"I am called Rzkipsr." He said.
"Pardon me?" I don't want to sound rude but, really, their name is unpronounceable.
"You can call me Raskıpsa." He said his name again in humanified form.

There was a long silence between us before he took speaking again.
"So ... Laksın."
"Yes?"
"Do you like female?"

I'm not good with people
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Tue May 01, 2007, 06:56 PM (This post was last modified: Wed May 02, 2007 03:31 PM by nightPhaser.)
Post: #6
RE: Write A Picture
Okay, okay, I put it away.


[ Proceed calmly. ]
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Tue May 01, 2007, 11:12 PM
Post: #7
RE: Write A Picture
Uhm ... Shu, the man said 100-150 words lar.

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Tue May 01, 2007, 11:36 PM (This post was last modified: Tue May 01, 2007 11:54 PM by nightPhaser.)
Post: #8
RE: Write A Picture
gingertom84 Wrote:Uhm ... Shu, the man said 100-150 words lar.

>> Tell that to Pyurio, and I'll delete it immediately. Shock

>>Okay, if it's that objectionable to thread's originator, I'll remove it. Smile


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Tue May 01, 2007, 11:41 PM
Post: #9
RE: Write A Picture
Children!

Read the assignment brief before you proceed, please.

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Thu May 03, 2007, 12:18 PM
Post: #10
RE: Write A Picture
gingertom84 Wrote:Uhm ... Shu, the man said 100-150 words lar.
nightPhaserSpiral Wrote:>>Okay, if it's that objectionable to thread's originator, I'll remove it. Smile
I'm afraid thats the rules for this thread. The challenge here is to depict a scene as detailed as possible with the limitation. But mainly because most of us are too lazy to read stories any longer Tongue
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